Vampire Mountain Chatroom
by Blood Rose Vampiress
Summary: Vampire Mountain has gotten computers and a private chatroom! But somehow Steve and the vampaneze manage to find out about the chatroom and drop in...
1. Chapter 1

Vampire Mountain has recently attained computers! And, somehow in a cave in the middle of nowhere so have Steve and Gannen.

Darren = xHalf_Vampirex  
Larten = Fight_Or_Die  
Vancha = The_Greatest_Prince  
Steve = All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord  
Gannen = Gannen_Harst

xHalf_Vampirex has signed in

Fight_Or_Die has signed in

xHalf_Vampirex: Hi Mr. Crepsley! Where are you?

Fight_Or_Die: Right down the hall from you, Darren….

xHalf_Vampirex: Oh, right!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord has signed in

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: I'LL KILLLLLLLL YOUUUUUUUUU!

xHalf_Vampirex :… Steve? How did you get access to the Vampire Mountain Secret Chat-room?

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: I know everythinggggggg!

Fight_Or_Die: Probably hacked into the system…. *mutters under breath*

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: So what if I did, Creepy Crespsley? Just goes to show how smart I am! Since when did vampire mountain get computers? Aren't all those stuffy princes  
against technology?

xHalf_Vampirex: *glares* No.

Gannen_Harst has signed in

Gannen_Harst: You haven't given out our location, have you Steve?

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: What do you think I am, stupid?

Gannen_Harst: Well judging from how you microwaved the toast this morning instead of toasted it and then put ice cream on it instead of butter….

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: *glares* I meant to do that!

Gannen_Harst: ….

The_Greatest_Prince has signed on

xHalf_Vampirex: Yo Vancha!

Fight_Or_Die: How was your trip, Sire?

The_Greatest_Prince: dj4u3ir943rjej98q32!l40f8r43jru8~3k892u4

Gannen_Harst: Hello, brother.

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: oh great, another dumb prince….

The_Greatest_Prince: dj438jr90id389eure89wlr3

Fight_Or_Die: I think he needs help learning how to use the computer… I'll go help him. Goodbye.

Fight_Or_Die has signed off

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: …it's raining brussel sprouts…

Gannen_Harst: Well you still have to eat the ones for dinner tonight

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: …

Gannen_Harst: You want to grow stronger don't you? If you don't eat your brussel sprouts you'll be a puny Vampaneze Lord and the vampires will destroy you

xHalf_Vampirex: Awww, Steve needs to be reminded to eat his vegetables…. And poor Stevey-poo doesn't like vegetables… how cute!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: I hate you Gannen -_-

The_Greatest_Prince: All hail to me!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Oh look, the genius finally figured out how to use the computer… Hail to ME!

The_Greatest_Prince: Me!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: ME!

Gannen_Harst: Good grief….

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: ME ME ME! OH LOOK! THE VAMPANEZE ICE CREAM TRUCK IS 23.73 MILES WEST OF VAMPIRE MOUNTAIN WHICH IS RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR CAVE, GANNEN! I WANT SOME ICE CREAM!

Gannen_Harst: You need to eat your vegetables first…. DAMMIT STEVE! YOU JUST TOLD THE VAMPIRES WHERE WE ARE!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: ICE CREAM!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord has signed off

Gannen_Harst has signed off

xHalf_Vampirex: … I KNOW WHERE THE VAMPANEZE LORD IS! LET'S GO KICK SO VAMPANEZE BUTT, VANCHA!

xHalf_Vampirex has signed off

The_Greatest_Prince: ME!

The_Greatest_Prince: ME ME ME!

xHalf_Vampirex has signed on

xHalf_Vampirex: Err… Vancha? Come on! You DO know how to sign off, don't you?

The_Greatest_Prince: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!

xHalf_Vampirex: *sighs*

xHalf_Vampirex has signed off

The_Greatest_Prince: !


	2. Chapter 2

Steve has gotten his ice cream and he and Gannen are in a new cave. RV gets a computer, and Vancha's vocabulary improves... somewhat.

Darren = xHalf_Vampirex  
Vancha = The_Greatest_Prince  
Steve = All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord  
Gannen = Gannen_Harst  
Harkat= The_Little_Person  
R.V.= Power_To_Me

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord has signed on

Gannen_Harst has signed on

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Now that was fun!

Gannen_Harst: If you think running around frantically half-dressed when it's only minutes from sunrise and trying to find a new cave because you happened to have given the vampires the location because you wanted ice cream then only leaving seconds before they arrived because you just HAD to have a chocolate cone dipped in raspberry jam and nearly strangled the ice cream man until he agreed to make it "fun" then I hope the rest of my life is completely funless.

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: But Gannennnnnnn… at least you got some exercise! You've been looking a little chubby lately. You should thank me! Without me you'd just turn into a worthless fat blob!

Gannen_Harst: *mutters* with the things you eat you're much more likely to become overweight than I am… I may I remind you, you MUST eat your vegetables if you want to grow into a big, strong Vampaneze Lord?

xHalf_Vampirex has signed on

xHalf_Vampirex: Awww, Stevey forgot to eat his vegetables again!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: *not listening*

The_Little_Person has signed on

xHalf_Vampirex: Hey Harkat!

The_Little_Person: Hello, Darren

The_Little_Person: Why are vampaneze in the special Vampire Mountain chat-box?

xHalf_Vampirex: I think they hacked. Well that or… yeah, they probably hacked. But then again… I'm guessing they hacked.

The_Little_Person: Yeah, they probably hacked.

Power_To_Me has signed on

xHalf_Vampirex: Yeah… I think that's another vampaneze. They hacked.

The_Little_Person: I agree.

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: What the hell RV? How the hell did you get a computer? And how the hell are you ON the computer? I thought you were in a cave!

Power_To_Me: I stole one from Vampire Mountain. Like you did. And I am in a cave. Like you are. When I got here I found plugs to plug the computer in. I think someone installed them. Oh and whoever installed them left a lot of food here. Including a bit of something that taste like chocolate ice cream with raspberry jam. Anyway I ate all the food. There was also a laptop. I thought I'd taken the computer for nothing but then I dropped the laptop and it, like, broke. Really broke. It smelled funny.

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: YOU BROKE MY $9000000000000 LAPTOP?

xHalf_Vampirex: YOU STOLE A COMPUTER FROM VAMPIRE MOUNTAIN?

The_Greatest_Prince has signed on

The_Greatest_Prince: Hi!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE LAPTOP SMELLED FUNNY? THE LAPTOP DIDN'T SMELL FUNNY! IT WAS MY LAPTOP! WHY WOULD MY LAPTOP SMELL FUNNY?

xHalf_Vampirex: HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN? WE HAVE GUARDS ALL OVER!

The_Greatest_Prince: Hi!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: YOU FUCKING BASTARD! MY LAPTOP SMELLED FINE!

xHalf_Vampirex: THAT'S IT, I'M PUTTING IN A COMPLAINT ABOUT SECURITY AT THIS PLACE!

xHalf_Vampirex has signed off

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: GIVE ME BACK MY FINE-SMELLING LAPTOP!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord has signed off

The_Greatest_Prince: Hi! Did I miss something?

The_Little_Person: Hello, Vancha. Yes you missed something.

The_Greatest_Prince: Hi! I think I missed something! Did I miss something?

Power_To_Me: GANNEN HELP HE'S HERE HEDK43U8R035Y9'S HEMF4008RRE! HEEEEEEEALLLLLLLDM4E9RU43P! ;rjew90rejrewop9e0

Power_To_Me has been disconnected

Gannen_Harst: … If my lord ate vegetables instead of chocolate ice cream covered in raspberry jam perhaps he'd be a bit more mild-tempered….

Gannen_Harst has signed off

The_Little_Person: Well I think I'll go get some sleep. Bye, Vancha.

The_Little_Person has signed off

The_Greatest_Prince: HI! Did I miss something?

The_Greatest_Prince: ….

The_Greatest_Prince: Hi?

The_Greatest_Prince: I wish I were an Oscar mayer wiener!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Yeah, so here's the third Vampire Mountain chat-room. I think I'm losing my touch at making funny things . I hope you at least find it somewhat entertaining.

* * *

Darren = xHalf_Vampirex  
Larten = Fight_Or_Die  
Vancha = The_Greatest_Prince  
Steve = All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord  
Gannen = Gannen_Harst  
Harkat= The_Little_Person  
R.V. = Power_To_Me  
Mr. Tiny = Destroy_World

* * *

xHalf_Vampirex has signed in

Fight_Or_Die has signed in

xHalf_Vampirex: Hi, Mr. Crepsley!

Fight_Or_Die: Hello, Darren. I hope from now on you will not let things that happen in the chat-room affect you too much. Harkat tells me it was not easy to pull you off that guard yesterday.

xHalf_Vampirex: I was trying to tell him not to let vampaneze into the mountain so easily!

Fight_Or_Die: I'm sure he didn't "let" the vampaneze in. He most likely did not have any control over what happened.

xHalf_Vampirex: What kind of idiot guard would just let vampaneze in?

Fight_Or_Die: Darren, like I said, he probably didn't "let" them in. They must have snuck in somehow.

xHalf_Vampirex: We need a new guard! One that doesn't let vampaneze in!

Fight_Or_Die: … *Sighs*

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord has signed in

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Hello, smelly vampires! What a lovely, lovely day it is! So very lovely indeed!

xHalf_Vampirex: … I think something's wrong with Steve.

Fight_Or_Die: Good.

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Kiss me Darren!

xHalf_Vampirex: Yes... something's very wrong.

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Lalalalalala!

Gannen_Harst has signed in

Gannen_Harst: Steve!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Lalala

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Lala

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: La

xHalf_Vampirex: …o.O

Gannen_Harst: Dammit, Steve, I told you not to eat the tomatoes with chocolate sauce!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: …

The_Greatest_Prince has signed in: Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: 

Gannen_Harst: Dammit, Vancha, not now! Can't you see we have an emergency on our hands?

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Laaaaaaaaaaaaaa ruuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm laaaaaaaaa

Gannen_Harst: Good grief…

Destroy_World has signed in

Destroy_World: Hello, boys!

Fight_Or_Die: has signed out

xHalf_Vampirex has signed out

The_Greatest_Prince has signed out

Destroy_World: Well then!

Gannen_Harst: Oh, thank the merciful vampaneze gods! Mr. Tiny, you must help Steve!

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Lalalalalala rrrruuuuuummmmmm

Gannen_Harst: Well, even though I told him not to, somehow he snuck into the miniscule cave-kitchen! Apparently the guard in charge of watching him quit because he got a shoe dipped in chocolate ice-cream with raspberry jam thrown at his head! That's no excuse, dammit! Now if it was a shoe with chocolate ice-cream and strawberry jam I can understand, but not raspberry. We all know strawberries are evil. But anyway, Steve got into the kitchen and ate all the tomatoes dipped in chocolate sauce!

Destroy_World: Why were the tomatoes with chocolate sauce in a place where he could find them? … Why were there even tomatoes with chocolate sauce there in the first place?

Gannen_Harst: Well, some of the vampaneze have a… well… you know… *blush*

Destroy_World: No, I don't know.

Gannen_Harst: Errr… a…

Destroy_World: I'm waiting

Gannen_Harst: Okay, well… some of the vampaneze have a.. what you'd call a… "fetish" for those kinds of things…

Destroy_World: Ah, I see. Now go on.

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Ruuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmm

Gannen_Harst: Well, some of the more dim vampaneze made the mistake of leaving them out… you know what tomatoes dipped in chocolate sauce can do to you…

Destroy_World: I don't believe I do.

Power_To_Me has signed in

Power_To_Me: Hey man, who ya calling dim? I'm as sharp as a tool!

Gannen_Harst: Just ignore him. He's one of the more dim ones.

Destroy_World: I see.

Power_To_Me: Who you callin dim?

Gannen_Harst: Yes, very dim. Anyway, Steve got ahold of the chocolate dipped tomatoes and ate them. And now he's… well, you see what he's like… and then my brother signed on and happened to mention rum…

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Ruuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm lalalala ruuuuuummmmmmm

Gannen_Harst: I just don't know what to do anymore! What if there's no cure? What if he stays this way forever? WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

Power_To_Me: WHO YA CALLING DIM YA BIG FAT IDIOT?

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Big fat idiot!

Gannen_Harst: Good grief…

Destroy_World: Well, you can try giving him spinach with sour orange juice and moldy green cheese mixed in…

Gannen_Harst: I'll try. Normally Steve hates spinach but with the sour orange juice and moldy green cheese he may eat it.

Destroy_World: Best of luck! And when you get back help me hunt chicken pot pies! I was having a bit of trouble earlier since they just kept running away from me every time I got close…

Gannen_Harst: Yeah, sure, whatever. Come on, Steve.

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: Chikie chikie pies with ruuuummmmm lala pie big fat idiot!

Gannen_Harst: *Sighs* Well, guess I can just thrust the pie in his face while he sits at the computer…

Gannen_Harst has signed off

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord: 

All_Hail_The_Vampaneze_Lord has been disconnected

Destroy_World: Well, would YOU like to help me hunt chicken pot pies, RV?

Power_To_Me: I AM NOT DIM YA BIG FAT CHICKEN POT PIE!

Destroy_World: …Vampaneze are so very strange. I do hope the chicken pot pie will stay still this time. And maybe the pumpkin pie will not run away either.

Destroy_World has signed off

* * *

**A/N:** Please let me know what you think!


End file.
